if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You don't make any sense
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