There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
