I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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