i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
