Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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