and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize