Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
