i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
