i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
