She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
