roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
