In the future we'll all be gay
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
