I think I am morally bankrupt
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
