he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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