Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize