wake up i wanna do it froggy style
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
