I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
