Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
