I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
