remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
