16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sext me about skeletons
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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