You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
