Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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