I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
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French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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