shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
