weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I intend to get homeless drunk
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
