It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Drunk is not a location!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
