If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
