So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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