I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
