ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize