Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
