shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
