Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my phone needs a breathalizer
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we're making bets on your personal life
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
