some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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