is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
