Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
