I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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