And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
