I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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