It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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