We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
