I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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