Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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