Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
