I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i drank out of a bidet.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
