You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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