Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
