how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
