just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
