I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I bet he comes in French.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
