I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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