I can tuck mytits in my pants
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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