yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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