I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
