drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
