I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
