a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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