i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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