I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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