I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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