I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
