I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
