there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
